Our co-workers are very much like an extended family. Full-time workers often spend as much or more time with their co-workers than they do their friends and family. Therefore, if a person at work dies, you may find that you are struck with a sense of sadness similar to losing a family member or close friend.
So it’s not surprising that a co-worker’s death can sometimes be particularly difficult to deal with, particularly if you were close to that person, or if the death was sudden and tragic. The extent of your grief will depend on your relationship with your co-worker, your age, your sex, your religious beliefs, your previous experience with grief and a number of other factors.
You may also experience feelings of shock, numbness, anger, anxiety and even guilt if the death occurred in the workplace, or your last interaction with the person was not pleasant. And even if the co-worker’s death is the result of a prolonged illness, you may still experience shock and depression when the news arrives.
The Emotional Impact
How we cope with a loss depends on many factors, from our personal beliefs to the presence of other stressors in our lives. For some of us, thoughts of the deceased may make it hard to focus on our work for a short while. Since most working people are under age 65, chances are your co-worker’s death seemed unfair and untimely. As a result, you may feel vulnerable, frightened and depressed, especially if you are in the same age group as your co-worker.
In a production or manufacturing environment, preoccupation with a co-worker’s death and difficulty concentrating may present safety hazards for those operating equipment, performing intricate operations, or monitoring product quality. In more extreme cases of stress, a co-worker’s death may cause you to become tense and irritated, adding to stress at work and creating new problems elsewhere in your life.
The Physical Impact
A strong emotional response to a co-worker’s death can have an effect on your physical health. Long-term feelings of deep sadness can disrupt your eating and sleeping patterns, robbing you of the energy necessary to move on with your life. Trying too hard not to think about a co-worker’s death has its own consequences. Those who attempt to “lose themselves” in their work risk burnout as well as mental and physical exhaustion. Others may become dependent on alcohol and prescription drugs to cope with their sadness.
What you can do
Grief is a natural process that requires time. If you are having difficulty accepting a co-worker’s death, ask for help. Share your feelings. Your other co-workers may be experiencing the same feelings you are. Mutual support can help everyone get though the grieving process.
If you need help, take advantage of the AMR Employee Assistance Program.
We are here to help.
The Employee Assistance Program is a joint program of the company and the TWU. In Tulsa you can call 292-2464 or email lela.french@aa.com to make an appointment or talk with the EAP Manager, Lela French, by phone to discuss what may be right option for you or your family member.
Steve Koster, TWU EAP Coordinator, can be reached at 671-5141, and Larry Wasson, TWU EAP Coordinator, can be reached at 292-3475.